As it turns out there are perks to being a cane. I do’t have to do any of the bothersome human activities such as showering or paying bills. I’m not blamed when things gett lost, chewed on by Spanky, (The human’s cat from hell) and I’m never ever called upon to help clean the bathroom toilet. Some would argue that I or many other cane could be a plunger. I am here to tell you we are not! I’ve met the plunger of this house. And what a vile, ill mannered, creepy she is! Every word out of her mouth is vulgar. It must have something to do with her occupation. Besides canes die that way. Only a few months ago I was told of my dear friend Al dining a humiliating water logged death when his dunce of a human tried to use him to plunge the toilet. Poor Al snapped in half! While this is the most common way for canes to die, he also had to die covered in human crap and soaking wet. Now if that isn’t an undignified death, I don’t know what is.
At any rate, there are many perks to being a cane. The piano and I have agreed this morning that the best part of being a cane is that of being the ver present watcher of the house’s front door. I get to see all who come in and out. I’m the first to notice the outfits they wear, how they treat my human and if they have a pet with them that I might need to avoid. Today was a day unlike any other. Today I got a glimpse of someone called Plumber! This man was a god of sorts. He was over six feet. I would know. I’m sixty nine inches tall. He’s over six feet, has dark hair and a very nice voice. He’s very friendly to the humans and on time to the appointment. He had the oddest looking sacks over his shoes.
The humans are annoyed that they had to call :lumber, but they too can appreciate his pleasing figure. Kelly, despite being blind, can find people attractive. Some say that blind people only judge based on personality due to the fact they can’t see. I’m here to say this is not true. While personality is the most important feature to my human, she can appreciate the physical as well. She can find people attractive based on smell, voice and some visual cues. She can also tell body type by hugging someone. As she has no excuse to hug Plumber, I’ll have to show her this post so she can get a good idea. So why is Mr. Handsome here? The drain in the tub clogged and started spewing sewer water. It turns out the whole pipe has to be replaced. While this is not good news, it’s always best to find the silver lining. Pain and I most certainly have.